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Module 4. Taking responsibility and control

This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding of:

  • How much control you have over your current sexual behaviour(s)
  • How you may have used denial to allow your problematic behaviour(s) to continue
  • How to make immediate changes and start the change process

When we feel like we have lost control, we often attempt to regain it. When we fail, we feel a deep loss and our anxiety starts to build. This feeling can be overwhelming. It causes us to feel uneasy, discontented, and lost because we are always looking for something else to make us feel better. We often turn to short term fixes such as alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex to feel better. Sometimes these behaviours then start to feel like they are out of our control.

 

Exercise

Read the statements in the table below and circle the number that you most relate to in terms of your past and current levels of control (1 = very little control; 2 = some control; 3 = strong control).

  1. Has your control changed from when you first started having sexual thoughts of children until now?
  2. Why do you think this has or has not changed?
  3. How does feeling out of control affect your mood?
  4. How in control would you like to be in a years time? How are you going to get to this point? Or if already at that point, how can you maintain your level of control? 

My behaviour when I first experienced sexual thoughts of children.

1

2

3

My behaviour as my problem progressed.

1

2

3

My time spent now having sexual thoughts of children

1

2

3

My time spent using adult pornography now

1

2

3

My time spent on accessing indecent images of children now

1

2

3

 

Continue to Making changes